Anew.

Posted: December 31, 2010 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

If 2010 were something empirical, I would be humping it. It pretty much got rocked by the Ross train, whateverthefuck that is. My summation of 2010 – fucking phenomenal. Last year was far more fun than this year was, but I think I’ve come into my own in 2010. I’ve moved on from being a young twenty-something and I’m now a real live adult, honing adulthood. What’s more, I fucking rock at it…who knew? (My vernacular and diction will never grow up, if you’re waiting for it.)

All modesty aside, this year was genuinely phenomenal in just about every aspect possible. Though I’m a year older, a point or two less attractive, 10lbs heavier and closer to a pre-mid-life crisis, I’ve grown tenfold as an individual, and I mean that in every literal sense of that word – individual. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, and I owe it mainly to…myself. No, really. All egoism and selfishness aside, I’ve realized this year that I am able to withstand, persevere and succeed by relying on myself and more importantly, trusting that I’m completely capable of handling anything and everything that comes my way. I started 2010 doing well financially, but I was unsure of myself and what I was here to do, be and become. I was still living with the same roommate I had been living with 2 years prior, and had no more solid a foundation than I did the year before. We got along well and always had a good time by prowling Tempe and Scottsdale bars and clubs, and fucking up Vegas whenever we had the chance. It was a good time. But I wasn’t taking my life seriously. And maybe I’m still not, but on paper, you can’t tell. I’ve had the same stable job for what seems like 43 years, I’ve upgraded my BMW, I’m still making my way through Arizona State U, I bought my first house and my Satan incarnate of a puppy, Reagan. Three years ago, if someone would have asked me where I wanted to be, realistically, in three years, I would’ve eerily preempted my current status. I would have said that I would like to have a stable job and be doing well financially. I would have said that I’d like to have a house of my own. I would have said that I’d like to be closer to finishing school and still enjoying it. I would have said that I’d like to be driving something way nicer than what a college student should be driving. And I would have said that I’d like to have a boxer to keep me company. Weird.

This year was also the first since being in Arizona that I haven’t flown back home to Spokane, WA to visit family and friends. It was a busy year, but no excuse will suffice for not getting to see my grandparents. My mom and some of my 2,357 aunts and uncles came to see me, which was fantastic. I got to surprise my mom by showing her my soon-to-be first house, and that meant a lot to me. Even then, not going home has been tough. I didn’t get to see my grandpa’s ear-to-ear smile that seems to take up his entire face or shake his hand and feel pride squeezed into it. I didn’t get to see my grandma waiting at the top of the stairs in her wheelchair or feel her magnetic hug. I didn’t get to be there for my sister’s lives unfolding another year of growth. I didn’t get to see my cousin’s continued improvements toward walking someday soon. I didn’t get to play basketball with Dusty or meet his baby girl. I didn’t get to complain about the shitty cold weather and snow in the streets. All of the aforementioned are the only things 2010 lacked. I promise, though, that 2011 will be different in each of those areas. Hold me to it.

Politically, I absolutely loved and sincerely hated 2010. There were more shitty issues than a sewage plant explosion. I loved each and every one of them. And I hated each and every one of them, equally. I hated the continued babble of President Obama and his Congressional cult following, otherwise known as the Democrats, or whatever. Shut up. I loved that his approval rating dropped lower than is fathomable, and recently, had to crawl with his tail between his legs to the GOP to gain any sort of push for…anything. His own platform won’t even condone his empty policies at this point. THAT, friends, gives me something of a metaphorical hard on. I hate Christine O’donnell and her ridiculous following of Tea Party idiots. Shut the fuck up, you’re taking away from the GOP platform. And I hate that you’ve turned the Gadsden flag into a Tea Party marker. It stands for something far more powerful than what you idiots are fighting for. I love that Jan Brewer beat out Terry Goddard…the dude was a moron with no backbone. Good job, ‘Zonans. Even though Brewer can’t string out a complete sentence on her own and is obnoxious, she listens to her constituents and gets shit done. High five to that. No more personal opinion, though. What was fantastic, and a continuance from last year, was the following of politics in general in America. Though Obama sucks gigantic balls and the democrats are attempting to ruin all that is America, its citizens are paying more attention to politics than ever before and a large part of that is due to Obama. He’s brought politics into not only the older public eye, but the entirety of the public eye. I dig that.

Chicks. Let’s talk chicks. If you’re one that I’ve dated in the past year, you’re probably angry with me but still reading this to see if there’s ever any mention of you, for better or worse. Congratulations, all of you, you’ve gotten your mentioning. Now fuck off and get back in your lonely corners. Jk, love you. Really though, the older I get, the more fun females become. And I don’t mean that in some I’m a slut of a man kind of way, I mean that I’ve become a lot more tolerant and accepting of all of the baggage and issues females come with. And I’ve even learned to love it a little bit. Plus, the older I get, the more attention I seem to get. I like me ;].

Of all of the great things that have happened to me this year, the greatest was my most recent acquisition. This acquisition has aged me about thirty-seven years in the past couple months, and has made me a more humble and patient person. He’s made me see life from a different angle, and that angle has given me insight and understanding that most people receive through having a child. I picked up my child November 18th. I had no idea what I was getting into. All I knew at the time was that I needed company, and eventually a protector of my home and all that I’ve worked hard for. He was brave and seemed unaffected about leaving his home at the time. As soon as I held him I knew he was coming home with me, whether I was ready for it or not. And apparently, I was not. He took over my finances, my patience, my attention and my love all within a matter of hours. I had no idea something that weighed 8 lbs and was less than a foot long could make such a huge impact on my life. It took a day to name him, and I’m not even sure why it took that long as I know now that the name is perfect for him. Ronald Reagan is my hero. This acquisition, a boxer puppy, took on his name – Reagan. I’ve spent more time with him in 2 months than I’ve spent with most people in the past handful of years. Mainly because he doesn’t talk back and isn’t a moron. And, though he’s a handful and sometimes I want to strangle him with his own dog toys, the frustrations that come with raising him are exponentially outweighed by the amount of love that I continue to feel for him every day. He was just supposed to be a protector of my property, but he’s become a protector of the sanctity of my emotion. He’s also made me question what I thought love was. Every female in my past who I’ve said I love you to, was apparently lied to. I don’t care that that last line is, no doubt, going to get me into a lot of trouble. I do know, though, that the love I have for Reagan far surpasses what I’ve ever felt for a girlfriend.

He’s now 3 months old and the most important part of my life. I can’t imagine what it’d be like to wake up and not have him here to wake up to. Well, actually, I take that back. I can tell you exactly what it’d be like. I’d wake up without him sitting on my head at the top of my pillow. I’d wake up without midget paws scratching at my face, telling me to fee him. I’d wake up later than 5am as no one would be whining, reminding me that they need to potty or poo. I’d wake up lonely and miserable, and with a huge piece of my heart missing. I’m not usually an emotional or touchy-feely person, but I am absolutely crazy about my little shit of a puppy. That’s become a term of endearment. See, progress with the vernacular and diction already- it’s being used positively. ;]

If you’re waiting for a New Year’s resolution, you won’t find one here. Resolutions are close-minded and direct. I want and expect way more from myself than to narrow my direction to one thing specifically. I’m not judging you for having one, I’m just saying that I’m way more awesomerer for not having one. Maybe the awesomerest.

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Comments
  1. Mom says:

    I’m truly glad to hear your happy!

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