A lot of my recent posts have been absolutely dreadful, not just in a literary sense, but their entertainment value as well. They’ve been angry gibberish composed of nothing but misery, frustration and pessimism. I’m done with that for awhile. Here’s why – I hit some level of rock-bottom recently and have been slowly fingernailing (it’s a real word) myself up my self-built walls of garbage. That little bit of positivity it took to do so has paid off, at least currently. The funny thing about hitting rock bottom is that it isn’t fucking funny at all, in any way, shape or form, assholes. It’s the anti-funny. That’s what’s funny about it. But, when you’re there, you gain a different perspective, one that only has two directions – fall further and indefinitely, or, climb the fuck back up toward positivity. I did. And throwing out just a little bit of said positivity out into the Universe has landed me a bone, a metaphorical ‘it’s-going-to-be-fine-you-miserable-idiot’.

If there’s any credit to be given to myself it’s that my passion outweighs every last thing collaborating me. Turns out I’m more passion about life than I thought. Even when I’m genuinely miserable, I still love my life and the little that I have. I started to appreciate that a little more recently because, well, I didn’t really have much else to do. Just throwing out that positivity to the Universe has made a world of difference, ironically. I landed a new job that will save all of my financial issues. I’ve become a lot more content with being content, rather than reaching toward goals that aren’t realistic. I’ve also recently met people that have given my darkness a forever lit candle. Also, that’s the lamest line I’ve ever typed in my life. Ever. Don’t judge me. But seriously, met a lot of good people recently. One in particular has made me realize that life really isn’t as bad as I sometimes allow myself to think it is. Or, maybe this person just makes the shitty times worth trudging through with said person’s company along the way. I don’t know. What I do know, is that I’m happy. And even if this person is a temporary placement sent to me by some higher power or the Universe itself, it’s been reiterated, as it has time and time again, that everything happens for a reason. Maybe this person was supposed to meet me at this point in my life, the lowest I’ve ever been, simply to give me a reason to pick myself the fuck back up and kick life in the fucking teeth. And I have. And I will. Regardless what happens with this person, I’ve regained energy and a commitment to myself to STAY FUCKING HAPPY.

Don’t confuse yourselves, though. In no way am I saying that this person is my savior and I’m picking myself back up from depression because of said person. That, in and of itself, would make me weak and would negate everything I’ve just typed. I’m simply saying that 1) this person is fucking amazing, and 2) I wholeheartedly believe that this person and I were meant to meet exactly at this point in my life for a specific reason. And I’ll tell you, Universe, I’m thankful and will not let a good opportunity go to waste.

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