What if?

Posted: October 19, 2016 in Uncategorized

What if I told you I need you right this second? What if I told you I needed you thirty-three years ago? What if I told you I’m useless to myself and everyone else in existence without you? What if I couldn’t say at all?

I’ve fought battles I didn’t know I was fighting, with opponents who didn’t know they were fighting, on playing fields that were meant for loving. Your void lead me to these battles like a tiger chasing it’s prey. But pray I did not. Love I did not. Care I did not. Learn I did not. And grow, I did not.

I found passion in a deep and hidden corner on the blackest of nights. I found love in a smile named death. I found perseverance in a dream called struggle. I found humanity in a dog named Reagan. I found warmth in stripping down naked.

But, I’ve not yet found you. What if I told you I’ve searched inside and out? What if I told you I’ve searched in the highest of highs and lowest of lows and came up empty?

What if, oh Strength, you’re not to be found at all? What if I don’t evince enough of you to even know where to begin?

 

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