Archive for the ‘Music.’ Category

…And I’m going to burn it the fuck down, and build myself a castle reinforced with certainty.

I’ve recently gotten away from this blog being a political rant. And while I, and hopefully you, miss the spewing of political belligerence, there are things far more important to share with each of you still reading. A government can only secure so much, whereas you yourself are the pillars holding that structure up. Therefore, you, each individual, are invaluable to that structure. We must start there.

These thoughts were inspired by a song from one of my favorite bands, A Day To Remember. The song’s called “This is the House That Doubt Built.” It’s audio brilliance coupled with inspiring lyrics; I listen to it every morning on my drive to work, and anytime I feel like I’m lacking positivity in whatever I’m about to conquer. And there’s where my motivation stemmed from: one of the lyrics state:

Let’s believe that if we all stand together
We’re a force that can shake the whole world

That may seem like a simple set of lyrics, but they’re far more than that. That’s huge. Everyone doubts themselves at some point, or often, but if you wholeheartedly trust those surrounding you, and rely on them with an undoubting (just made that word up, sue me)faith, you, together, can conquer the world. This is not to say that doubt is unnatural, because it isn’t. It’s natural. But so is creepy, curly hair, and we as humans have mastered ways to straighten out that problem, right? So what makes this any different? You trust that when you buy products to straighten out your hair, they’ll work. Similarly, trust that when there’s a doubt in any area of your life, there have been those who have had that same exact doubt, and have conquered it. Having faith in those around you is tenfold more powerful than a belief that you by yourself can conquer the world.

I work at a company that I am absolutely in love with. I took the job as a means to help me get through school, and eventually to and through law school. But it has become something exponentially more important than just that. It has become an inspiration and motivator to be better than whatever I had previously thought was the best. It feeds my drive, it ignites my passion, and it provides a faith in those around me that I’ve never had before. Another line from the song, “This is the House That Doubt Built,” states:

In the end it’s not about what you have
In the end it’s all about where you wanna go
And the roads you take to help you get there

I am certain that this company trumps whatever I have or have had, and is the path I’ll follow to get where I want to go. That certainty stems from trusting and believing in those I work with and learn from every day. I’m motivated more every day to work hard for them, and they do the same, and I trust and believe that. Together, we’re a force that can shake the whole world. Thanks, ADTR, your song has become an unofficial company theme song.


What inspires passion? What moves you to step outside of your comfort zone and welcome life’s challenges and beauties? That answer will be different for each one of you reading this. There is no right or wrong answer. For me, because this blog is all about me (plus I’m selfish as fuck), I’m inspired by everything. There are 439,409,998,713 things a day that inspire me, for better or worse. The good, bad, ugly and everything in between make me feel and appreciate all that is life. Even when shit’s shitty and it seems like there is no solution, there is. There always is. Simply feeling emotion and allowing life to get to you is or should be enough to inspire you. If it isn’t, punch yourself in the heart…it isn’t working and it needs an upstart.

Fixers. Let’s talk about fixers. I just had a short but inspiring conversation with my best friend about being a fixer and all that it encompasses. I’m not sure if it’s human nature or if it’s only a select few who suffer from this handicap, but I’ve realized recently that I’m a fixer. I not only go way out of my way to try and fix my own problems, no matter how impossible to fix they might be, but I also try to fix other people’s problems. Until today, I’ve been OK with that. Even though I’m selfish, I’m willing to put myself aside to help close friends in any way that I can. Today, I realized that I can’t focus my energy on other people’s issues if they themselves are not willing to do the same. No matter how unselfish I’m willing to be, I can’t control what other people do. That’s been a tough lesson for me to gradually learn as a fixer and control freak. It’s frustrating to realize that I, by myself, cannot control other people. I can put forth whatever effort I deem fit and that’s about it. I can use my passion and inspirations to try and solve life. But it’s never that simple. And it’s even more difficult when the person(s) you’re trying to help can’t do that for themselves. I don’t think being a fixer is necessarily a bad thing. I labeled it as a handicap earlier, but I’m not sure if that’s an accurate description as it’s a compassionate characteristics that requires you to put yourself before another person, for whatever reason. In fact, I have respect for fixers. Even though I try to be one, I mostly suck at it because I’m crazy selfish. My frustrations come from attempting to lend a helping hand and having it thrown right back at me. I’m like a turtle. When a turtle feels comfortable with its surroundings, it will peak its head out and explore. But when it’s scared, it will stay in its shell until it feels that its fear has departed. It takes a lot for me to come out of my shell and attempt to feel comfortable with those surrounding me. I don’t trust people. And ultimately, regardless of what Karl fucking Marx thought, people are not intrinsically good. They’re shitty and selfish. This keeps me in my shell. But every now and again, I’ll break through my own protections and peak my head out of my shell. Ten times out of ten, I end up right back in my shell. This is the dilemma I face on a daily basis. I’m sure all of you have faced it as well. But remember, we’re talking about me, not you. ;]

It’s hard for me to understand why and how people don’t vacuum life in as a glorious and beautiful thing. We’re born with a physical case that allows us to grow, and a brain that allows for learning and adaptation to become accustom to our surroundings. That, in and of itself, is absolutely beautiful to me. This isn’t just the wine talking, but life is an absolutely amazing work of art that each of us have the ability to paint, master and perfect. I come across a lot of people who don’t share that view. There are a lot of people who will take the downsides for simply that – a downside. Fuck that nonsense. Every downside or curve that life throws at you is an opportunity to make something beautiful of something shitty. Accept it. Appreciate it. Take advantage of it. And cultivate it into your own. There is absolutely no reason to bitch, moan and complain about the shitty hand life’s dealt you. I do it every once in a while, but with the understanding that it’s an opportunity for me to grow as a person and adapt to the beauty that is life. It’s taken me a long time and a lot of shitty situations to come to that realization. It should have been something realized early on. Life’s a gift, and rather than expecting it to treat me well like I deserve something from it, I can mold it to become my own. How do people in general not see it as the same?

I don’t mean to preach and sound like I know everything about everything and have all of the answers. I sure as shit do not. But what I do have is an understanding that I control my future. I will not make excuses for why NOT to take advantage of that. I will not make excuses for why not to branch out from my safety net and experience everything that life offers. Sometimes it’s scary, but finding yourself in that fear is what makes you, you. It’s what strengthens the fibers we’re weaved from. To find excuses why not to venture out and enjoy the life we’re gifted is incomprehensible to me. If you come to a point where you find yourself questioning a decision, fuck it, go for it. Don’t second guess it. Take chances. Live like you’ve only got one life to live. Live like you’re only here for a 65-90 year period and there’s nothing afterward. Live like you are your passion. Live like you’ve got a burning desire to encompass and embrace everything that comes your way, good, bad or indifferent. Live like you give a shit about the life you’re making for yourself. Live like you’re making a legacy that will be written in books for centuries after you’re gone. Live like you give a shit. And if you don’t, get the fuck off of my page, you have no business here. No more invalid excuses why not to take responsibility and accountability for yourself. I’m tired of that shit. And I’m tired of hearing that shit from people I attempt to care about. No more. No more being a fixer. No more allowing other people’s excuses to restrain them from being great. No more shitty scape goats for why not to take advantage of life. It’s gifted you with itself, stop wasting it.

Listen to this song and allow the lyrics to sink deep into your soul. If you don’t feel it within the depths of you, you aren’t good at music. Eddie Vedder, I fucking love you.

Music Break!

Posted: August 31, 2010 in Music.
Tags: , , ,

I’ve been extremely busy as of late and have failed hardcore at posting…anything. Since it’s late and I’m lazy and can’t turn my music off long enough to rant about why Terry Goddard should never be considered as a potential governor for Arizona (more to come on this later), I figured I’d at least let you all into my musical world.

I go through favorite songs like I go through…females.
Er, what?

That said, this happens to be one song that, no matter how many times I scream it at the top of my lungs in my shower or car on the way to and from work, never gets old. Not ever. Never. Not even almost. Love it. Appreciate it. Sex it. Open your earholes.

I can’t even describe to you how much I love this song. If I could have sex with the song itself, I would. I supposed you’d have to at least somewhat be into this type of music to fully appreciate it, but even if not, the lyrics are amazing. Either way, 4 minute eargasm —>

The wrong era.

Posted: July 21, 2010 in Music.
Tags: , , , ,

I’ve always been told that I have an old soul. I’ve never really known how to take that; could be a compliment, could be a bad thing. Who knows. I just turned twenty-seven on Monday, and though that isn’t old, I feel a lot older than the number implies. Regardless of my age, I’ve always had an infatuation with older music. I think I was born in the wrong era. I love metal and new punk, which obviously wasn’t around in the 1960s, but I loooove me some oldies, soul and motown. The overall mood of songs from the 60s seems to be tenfold happier than anything recorded today. Take for instance the song posted below, Elenore by the Turtles. I don’t know who Elenore is and I could care less. All I know is that this song is impossible to listen to without smiling or singing along with it. If you’re having a bad day, find this song and put it on repeat for a few times as it’s short…almost too short to fully enjoy.

Anyway, open up your ear souls!
…Whatever that means.